‘Semi-annual After Christmas Sale’

By Chuck Kajer

We in the newspaper business like to expound on the value of advertising in print. We know that the most effective ad is one that you can come back to again and again, and having it in print gives it a sense of permanence.

However, when things aren’t exactly perfect in an ad, whether it is because of poor wording from someone placing the ad, or it is due to a typographical error—something we absolutely hate in this business—the results can sometimes be humorous. Jay Leno regularly features headlines and stories from local newspapers that he and his viewers have found amusing. A photo I took of Archbishop Harry Flynn visiting Mala Strana earned this dubious honor several years ago.

Recently I came across a list of actual excerpts of classified ads from other newspapers that I thought would be fun to share.

— Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

— Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

— Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

— Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

— Stock up and save. Limit: one.

— Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale

— 3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

— Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

— Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

— Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

— For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

— Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

— We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

— For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

— Great Dames for sale.

— Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

So remember, when placing your classified ad, read it over a couple times. After all, you don’t want to end up on Leno.....

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New Prague, MN 56071

Phone: 952-758-4435
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