Bern's Eye View

by Bernadine Hildebrant

 

Spring has sprung,

The grass is rizz.

I wonder where the Birdies is?

(If they're smart, they'll stay south for a few days!)

*****

I was watching the snow melt. Yesterday there was a high pile of the white stuff in my yard, today most of it has disappeared. Hooray! HOWEVER, I don't believe the robins have been snowed on three times yet. SO, according to the “old timers” (whom am I kidding???) we still could have three more times of that white stuff! Time will tell! Pretty soon my petunias will find their way. Spring is on the way in spite of the 6 or more inches of snow we just received!

*****

I've decided to vary my column a bit and give you some information I know you couldn't do without.

*Newspaper corrections prove everyone's human, including editors. The story said, “More than 30,000 pigs were floating down the Dawson River.” What piggery owner Sid Everingham actually said was “30 sows and pigs” not “30,000 pigs.”

*“It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.” (Donald Trump)

*“My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.” Actor Billy Connolly

*Following an argument, an angry Lady Astor told Winston Churchill, “Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee.” Churchill snapped, “If you were my wife I'd drink it.”

*“I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined, and we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.” Physicist Stephen Hawkins

*“By all means, let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.” Scientist Richard Hawkins

*“They say marriages are made in heaven but so is thunder and lightning.” Clint Eastwood

*“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” Abraham Lincoln

*“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” Newspaper Editor Henry Clapp

*“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” Fiction Writer Isacc Asimov

*“Cats are smarter than dogs, you can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” Producer Jeff Valdez

*“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” Mark Twain

*“I'm not offended by blond jokes because I know that I'm not dumb, and I also know that I'm not blonde.” Dolly Parton

*****

A history of St. Patrick The history of St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland who was born in the second half of the 4th century, is inevitably sketchy. Similarly, the place where St. Patrick was born cannot be confirmed. It is known that he was raised near a village called Banna Vemta Burniae but its location cannot be identified. It may have been lowland Scotland but is equally likely to have been Wales, which was under Roman control at the time. Patrick's real name was probably Maewyn Succat. His father, Calpornius, was a Roman-British army officer and a deacon. Despite this family involvement in the church, the young Patrick was not a believer. His life was ordinary, and completely unexceptional, until the age of 16. But dramatic events then occurred which set the history of St. Patrick, and the history of Ireland, on a new course.

The young lad was kidnapped, along with many others, by Irish pirates and sold into slavery in Ireland. According to his autobiographical, “Confessio,” which survives, the next six years were spent imprisoned in the north of the island and he worked as a herdsman of sheep and pigs on Mount Slemish in Co. Antrim. During this period, he became increasingly religious. He considered his kidnapping and imprisonment as a punishment for his lack of faith and spent a lot of time in prayer. A

fter a vision led him to stow away on a boat bound for Britain, Patrick escaped back to his family. There he had a dream that the Irish were calling him back to Ireland to tell them about God. This inspired him to return to Ireland as a priest. The history of St. Patrick is littered with periods of imprisonment when his teachings had upset local chieftains or Celtic Druids, but he always escaped or gained freedom by presenting his captors with gifts. For twenty years he travelled the length and breadth of the island, baptizing people and establishing monasteries, schools, and churches as he went. By the time he died, on 17 March 461 and this date has been commemorated as St. Patrick’s Day ever since.

May you live as long as you want and never want as long as you live.

*****

Easter will be here soon, rain or shine, snow or blow. I found a great sounding recipe, despite the weather. I haven't made it yet, but I plan on trying it soon.

Apple Peach Dump Cake

Two cans apple pie filling

Two cans peach slices, drained

One teaspoon ground cinnamon, divided

One-half teaspoon ground nutmeg

One package white cake mix

1/2 cup butter, melted (One stick)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray 13 by 9 inch baking pan with non-stick spray. Spread apple pie filling and peaches in prepared pan. Sprinkle with half the cinnamon and nutmeg. Top with cake mix spreading evenly. Pour butter over top. Sprinkle with remaining cinnamon and nutmeg. Bake one hour or until top is slightly browned. Cool at least 15 minutes before serving.

*****

In honor of St. Patrick the ladies of Holy Trinity Catholic Church are hosting a St. Patrick Soup Supper on Sunday, March 19 from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. The meal consists of chili, potato soup, bread sticks, bars, and beverages. No cost for the meal -- free will offering. Please join them for this fun evening.

P.S. Don't put off anything by a lack of experience. Remember, the ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic by professionals.

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