Prepping for college starts early

Back-to-school season is quickly approaching, and if you are like us, you are likely stressing about all the things you need to do before the kids start school on September 6.

If you think the to-do lists for primary, middle or high school were unpleasant, wait until you see what’s required for college these days. Amidst the preparations and emotional turbulence of sending your child away to college, it’s very easy to lose your head and heart. I would know. I moved Isaac to school in Alexandria last weekend. 

The physical move was easy, thanks to the many carts available and the elevator in his dorm/apartment complex. Prepping for the move required only two things: money and a trip to a retail warehouse for bulk groceries. 

However, prepping for the transition to college was a longer process that started many years ago during the younger years. When you send your child off to college to live life on their own, you’re obviously no longer there to pick up after them (Did I ever do that? Heck, no!), remind them about appointments, followup on homework or make sure they brush their teeth. When you send them to college, the foundation of your work as a parent is done, at least it better be.

Some smart people at Southern Utah University recently put together pieces of advice that parents should follow that will help their children transition from “at-home-children” to “on-their-own-in-college-children”. 

Teach them useful skills

If before now you tended to do every household task for your child (ie: helicopter parenting), before they leave is the time to give them a crash course in adulthood. Teach them now how to do basic tasks, such as:

- Laundry: Have them do it alone before they move out.

- Banking basics: How to withdraw and deposit cash, ATM use, bill pay, etc.

- Cooking: How to make a handful of easy and low-cost meals.

- Car care: When and how to get an oil change, gassing up and tire lifespan.

Luckily for his mother and me, Isaac has a lot of common sense and is a hard worder, self-sufficient, and independent. Three years ago when he started working on a dairy farm, I refused to carry his manure-crusted pants up the stairs to the washer. If he wanted them washed, he had to throw them in the washer himself.  

Similarly, it has been a long-standing rule in our house that if you don’t like what’s served for a meal, you make your own or go hungry. I’ll admit we broke this rule sometimes, but toward the end of his stay with us, we really stuck to it. 

As far as banking, that came late, but he eventually got better since he set up mobile banking on his phone. However, he was always skilled at putting his checks into savings.

As far as car care, let’s just say his truck runs better than our vehicle because he taught himself about vehicle maintenance and how to perform repairs like changing the oil, replacing radiators, air filters, brake pads, wheel bearings … etc. 

In addition to the instruction of your kids before they leave for college, you have to prepare yourself emotionally for when they physically leave. The transition is tough on everyone. It’s a grieving time for parents, to be sure. You walk by their empty room. You expect them to walk through the door and tell you about their day, but it never happens. There is also the occasional worry if they are ok at school. Are they eating enough? Washing their clothes in a timely manner? Staying out of trouble? Getting good grades? It’s all out of our hands, and that is sometimes difficult for parents to handle. 

We went through the same gamut of emotions when we sent Hannah to college four years ago. The only difference was we completely failed at some of our pre-college teachings (laundry, banking, cooking, car … basically all of them.) Lucky for us, she’s a smart, self-starter who taught herself these skills… Whew!

No matter how you slice it, sending your child off to school is a difficult transition. Whether you are crying when they head off to kindergarten or college, the challenge of letting go doesn’t ever really go away. The best you can do is keep your chin up, be there for them, and hope they’ve listened to you at least a couple of times while they were growing up. If they didn’t, pray they figure it out, which they will.